Movie Character Showdown

Sam: Justine and I will be experimenting with a new type of battle. A Movie Character Showdown. We will attempt to decide which movie character/ actor is stupider. (Note from Justin: Stupider is not a word.) I have nominated Batman/ Bruce Wayne. Let me get one thing straight. I have no problem with Batman. He is cool in a dorky awesome sort of way. I've mentioned that I've been watching old Batman movies. This past week I saw 'Batman Begins'. No, I have a problem with Christian Bale as Batman. My dad calls me a hater, I call myself a movie critic. But I'll get to that. Justine has nominated Grover, from 'The Lightening Thief'. So it's:

V.S

Let the battle begin. Justin(e): Grover is annoying! In the book he was supposed to be a loyal sidekick wanting to prove himself. In the movie he was . . . I can't pinpoint what was most annoying, but he was driving me crazy throughout the film. I hated when made those goat/sheep noises, and I'm probably not the only one.

Sam: Oh, yes. I could hear the whole theater squirming. But Bruce Wayne was WAY worse. I mean, come on! Dude. I was cracking up every time he put on his Batman costume and attempted to make his voice deeper than normal. And he was trying to be all serious and he sounded like he had a cold. You honestly can't get any stupider (your face is not a word) than that.

Justin: But what about when Grover showed Medusa's head to that dude when they were in the hotel? That was dumb. He was a careless idiot throughout the movie. He hardly helped during any of the action, and he was the only one completely drawn into the Lotus Hotel. He was useless.

Sam: Are you forgetting about the way Batman would hold his mouth? He had this really awkward way of sticking out his lips well he was talking. See below.

And can we talk about the fact that he couldn't actually close his mouth? I hate it when actors do that. Please. A fly might go in. Justin: Grover had annoying habits too. For one thing, he seemed a little . . . arrogant. And I will once again remind you of the goat/sheep noises.

Sam:
Oh. Uh. Yeah, you're right. You win.

Justin:
I do? I mean, yes! I win! Grover is way more annoying than Batman.

Sam and Justine Preview What is To Come

Queen of Awesome:
Movie previews. Funny, romantic, adventurous, lines that catch your attention...all theses elements plus awesome music is what really gets you to say, 'I'm going to see that one.' or 'Man, thats going good.'

Justine:
First impressions determine what you think of a movie. If the preview doesn't leave a mark, you won't want to see the movie. For example, the Kick-Ass trailer makes viewers lust for more, Eclipse where as the trailer makes viewers . . . cry.

Sam:
Or punch Bella Swan in the face after you tell Edward Cullen to clear his throat and get a life.

Justin:
Exactly. I couldn't even finish that trailer.

Sam:
An awesome trailer: Zombieland. We're still trying to convince our mothers to let us watch this one.

Justin:
The Zombieland trailer was the complete opposite of the Eclipse one.

Sam:
'Tis. Let's get serious for a second and talk about the Iron Man 2 trailer. OH, MY GOD I WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE SO BAD!

Justine:
I still think Kick-Ass is the best hero movie this year.

Sam:
I really wish you would stop rubbing it in my face that you got to see this one. Is it really necessary to play the trailer every five minutes and yell every time at the top of our lungs, 'Sam! Check this out!' Carma is going to bite you in the butt.

Justin:
You're just mad 'cause you didn't see it. Anyway, another good trailer is the Nightmare on Elm Street one.

Sam:
Ew. Not quite my style. I hate horror movies whose only preview is to be gory. Well, I think we've covered everything worth seeing today. Can't wait for these movies to come out!

Avatar: The Battle Is On

Tweedledum and Tweedledee

Agreed to have a battle;

For Tweedledum said Tweedledee

Had Spoiled his nice new rattle.

Just then flew down a monstrous crow,

As black as a tar-barrel;

Which frightened both the heroes so,

They quite forgot their quarrel.

Tweedledee and Tweedledum were sitting writing stories. Said Tweedledee, "Let's have a battle, for you hate Avatar, and I'm quite the opposite."

"I accept," said Tweedledum.

Began Tweedledee, "How could you not enjoy this film, it was sparkling with brilliance."

"Exceptionally dumb," replied Tweedledum.

After a brief but heated argument on who shall type this blog post, the Tweedles continued.

"How could you, I ask, love Avatar? What about it was worthy? And stop trying to make everything rhythm," cried Tweedledum. "And why do I have to be Tweedledum?"

Tweedledee replied, "I think it was good because they created a completely new alien race with it's own culture, speech and.........and....."

"And? If it was 'good' why can't you explain it in more than three words? "

"I'm trying to decide between the millions of appropriate ones," Tweedledee remarked. "And stop trying to grab my computer. You're manhandling it."

"Yeah, right. I'll tell you why I hated Avatar. Are we allowed to use bullet points?" Tweedledum questioned.

"Weapons are not allowed," replied the smarter of the two.

"Oh, really? Does my fist in your face count as a weapon?" Demanded the cleverer of the two (HA HA).

"It obviously isn't," Tweedledee replied. "A fist is a part of the body. What about Avatar do you hate?"

Dum didn't reply. They broke for popcorn........(half an hour later) AND we're back.

"I really hate it when you refer to me as 'Dum'. Moving on. Why do I hate Avatar? Where to begin? I'm going to use the bullet points. Because, I've always been a rebel.

• Plot--we've seen this story time and time again. Foreign creatures are studied by 'normal' people, discovers that creatures aren't so bad. Some sappy love in between.
• Characters---none of them are particularly memorable, funny or entertaining.
• Dialog--with generic lines like: 'You still remember what team you're playing for?' and 'I trusted you!' or 'All I ever wanted was a single thing worth fighting for.' Avatar brings nothing new."

Tweedledee then said, "I admit you speak truly. But those points can be excused when you see the uniqueness in the film. First: the alien race itself was completely original. Not too unrealistic but not too unoriginal. They created an entire language for them. They created that hair connector thing. They created an entirely new religion."

"Second," continued the smart one. "The action was rather great. Third: the concept of the Avatar itself was a stroke of brilliance. The ability to remotely control another being is indeed the best idea I've seen in a long while."

"If I were to speak honestly; I'd admit that I did love the idea of going into someone else's body. That's probably why Avatar was such a disappointment. It hit me so hard. I mean, you have a breathtaking idea, brimming with potential. But, critical movie reviewer that I am, I can't simply overlook these potholes. I can't see past them. Shame, though."

Tweedledee finished, "Then we agree that Avatar was not too bad, but not so great, for we both liked some, and we both disliked some."

"Agreed," said Tweedledum. And that decided the battle.

The End

Sam says:
Today Justine and I will be talking about one of the most important and memorable aspects of a film: The Ending. What makes a movie ending so worth while? Firstly it wraps up the film. The ending is part that you will walk out of the movie theater remembering. It must leave a---shall I say 'aftertaste'----in your mind. It is the icing on the cake. Occasionally, in my opinion, it is what makes a film a masterpiece. 

 Justin says:
Please, refrain from calling me Justine. 


Sam says:
Right now, you really sound like Alfred, loyal butler from Batman (I've been watching old Batmans all weekend). 

                                   Here Justine is pictured with Beetlejuice


Anywho, back movie endings. First a few elements that make for a great movie ending:

Shock-Honestly, there sometimes there is nothing better than an ending you 
didn't suspect. A supposedly dead character reappearing, finding out that it was the butler along---I LIVE for these endings!  


Death-I hate to say it, but sometimes, a excellent movie ending has to do with a beloved character dying. Tragically.


Blast 'em heads off- Action movies that end in explosions end well. We love movies that have perfectly choreographed action - straight to the end.


Alfred Says:
First on our list: The Book of Eli. Who would have guessed that the kick-ass, sword slicing, grenade flinging protector of the bible was blind? That's definitely a surprising ending. And the way his disability is discovered is also great. The bad guys manage to steal the book, only to discover it's been written in braille.


Another grade A ending is found in the Incredible Hulk (2008). Only a supreme comic book geek would expect to see Tony Stark make an appearance in this movie. In literally the absolute last minute of the film, Iron Man walks in and invites Bruce into the Avengers.




Watson says:
I really loved the Iron Man ending. We see Tony Stark mount the mike stand, prepared to feed the press some watery story as an excuse for the past events. We see a funny expression cross his face and then--BAM---"I am Iron Man." That's what I'm talking about. Simple, unexpected, very in your face. 

Another ending I worship, is of course, Interview With The Vampire (I'm starting to wonder if I can go through one post without mentioning this movie). 

Seriously, this movie ending is quite possibly the best I've witnessed. It really knows how to play with shocks. 

I mean, Lestat, a character that we're not sure is dead or alive appears at literally the last minute of the film. He takes over the car, fixes his shirt selves, bites the car passenger and blasts the radio. Then it goes straight to the end credits. That's it. Simple. Fabulous. Shocking. A masterpiece. 

That's all folks.

Movie Villains That Don't Suck (in color)

The following candidates have been elected through careful and precise thinking and argumentative debate. No bloggers were harmed in the process.

Alfred says:

The Red Queen

The Queen is, and always has been, one of my favorite antagonist. The most crooked out and extraordinary queen ever.



Eli

He survived the apocalypse. He fought off hordes of bloodthirsty brutes. He traveled halfway across the world. Anyone can do this you say? He did it blind.

The Joker

Who can't love this crazy hysteric? Universally known as the grinning psychopathic, bloodthirsty, arch nemesis of Batman, the Joker is probably the most ingenious villain ever imagined. Though the movies are about the hero, I always look forward to seeing the villain.

Watson says:

David

"You're eating maggots, Micheal. How do they taste?"

This guy is a vampire. Could you tell? He completely takes over the film he belongs to (The Lost Boys), intimidating and ruthless; he rules over the vampire scene.


Miranda Priestly

The most unnerving thing about this woman is undoubtedly the fact that she never fails to charm while she's harassing you. With lines like: "The details of your incompetence do not interest me." and "Find me that piece of paper I had in my hand yesterday morning." Miranda is unstoppable. But there's something in her manor that has you praising her every word.

The Critics Tackle Wonderland

Justin says:
I recently watched the new Alice in Wonderland movie. But not in 3D. They were sold out of tickets for all 3D showings. Regardless, the movie was still pretty good. While lacking the classic magical feeling universally related with the original, it did supply action and a little comedy. The writers took the two sides, Alice and the Red Queen, and did what any good action movie writer would: they started a war.

We somehow went from tea parties and talking doors to killing the Jabberwock and fighting card soldiers. Something other books and short-stories have tried, but this movie does it in one the two best ways (the other being the story of the Looking Glass Wars series). Rather than take Wonderland and change the story completely, Alice in Wonderland simply makes Alice grow up. This movie was meant to take place after Disney's classic, during a time when the Red Queen rules with a brutal iron grip. Alice is living on Earth, a normal British girl. After chasing a rabbit in a waistcoat and falling down a hole, she's in Wonderland. Similar to the original, but the changes that were made makes this movie no where near the brilliant masterpiece the original was.

Sam says:

I agree with you completely! There was something uncomfortably dry about this film, a missing element that had me wincing. On rare occasions, magic is caught on screen. This few films go forward into the realm of the classics. And I think I can safely say that this film will not reach that realm.

Although this movie had characters with plenty of potential, few of the reached what I expected of them. I was happy with Helena Bonham Carter, who tried her best to keep the film afloat.

Who can resist her? Or her fat boys?

However, I was quite disappointed with Johnny Depp. I mean, come on! You're great, Johnny, I worship you. But you let me down in this film. You're usually amazing when it comes to creating a fabulous mix of weird and just the right dosage of awesome. But playing the Mad Hatter? Your acting in this one felt......God, I hate to say it, but BLAND. You left out the awesome this time.

This is me, trying my best to impress you!

Ahhhhhhh!

Now for the White Queen. Anne Hathaway, thank you. Thank you for giving us a parody of so many other watery women characters we've seen (try Clash of the Titians, Twilight ect).You always brighten my day.

How did I feel about Alice her herself? Played my newcomer Mia Wasikowska, who tried her best to stray from the irritating, stuck-up, self obsessed Alice we're seen so many times before. She's succeeded! Mia displays all of Alice's more prized traits such as bravery, defiance and the like. Giving us girls a good role model! Yay, for Mia!

Alice and Wonderland offers us a half a handful of great characters, special effects and costume design. Unfortunately, half a handful is not enough to make a truly memorable film.