Scott Pilgrim vs. the Critics: Another Battle

Justine: The first word that comes to mind when the name Scott Pilgrim is spoken: Awesome. It's a movie based on a video-game that's based on a comic. How could that formula be anything but awesome? Video-game themed, action-packed, and full of humor, it's definitely one of the best movies we've seen in a while. The Hater and I both agree on that. But, that's all we'll be agreeing on for majority of this post. We're gonna have another battle. Today's match: Todd Ingram vs. Matthew Patel, an Evil X showdown.

The Hater: Before I write anything else, I have to stop you (let the disagreeing begin). Are you forgetting about The Prince of Persia? Video game adaption. And we both hated on that one. Also, I'm going to put a picture here. Even though Justine (who thinks I put way too many pictures in my posts) will grit his teeth when he sees it.

Oh, yeah. 

Justine: Sure, this guy had vegan powers, but did he have hippie chicks? Was he S-L ick? Did he dress like a pirate? No! Patel was awesome!  He had that weird way of moving his head, the crazy hairstyle, the awesome entrance.

The Hater: No, he didn't have hippie chicks. But Todd Ingram's (ve-gone guy) scenes contained some of the funniest lines in the movie ( "I partake not in the meat, nor the breastmilk, nor the ovum, of any creature, with a face.")  And he a kind of slur to his voice, which is WAY better than a weirdly moving head. Way.


Justin: What about the dance and song? And the hand gestures? Just watch that scene again. It's awesome. I'm Mathew Patel (weird gesture)!

The Disaster of Turning a Book into a Movie

Sam: I admit it's gotta be tough. High expectations. Devoted fans with an image of EXACTLY what they want their favorite characters  to look like. Sometimes, movie adaptations are fantastic. But we all know that I'm better at hating then praising. So, here's a list of some of the worst book\movie adaptations.

1: Percy Jackson and The Olympians 


The book had it's witty commentary, with Percy's honest view of  his life and world in general. But the movie....

Justin: That about rounds off the good part. Now for the bad. First: Grover. He was the opposite of his character in the book. He made annoying sounds every five seconds, he acted like he knew everything, and he didn't help at all. He even showed the cleaning lady from the motel Medusa's head. A useless disappointment. The Grover in the book was a modest hero who helped Percy whenever he could.

2: Twilight 


Sam: First let me clarify: I am not a Twilight fan. The story is cool enough. But to me, the story really doesn't matter that much. But if you can sell me on your characters, then I'm yours. And the characters (a certain female lead, especially) almost offend me. However, even I can admit that the books were better than the movies.

Seriously guys, we don't need five minutes of you staring at each other while laying in the dewy grass, while playing piano in the back ground. Come. On.

Justin: I didn't read the book, but this movie SUCKED! It had a two minute action sequence, too much dumb romance crap, and half the characters ran around half-naked the whole time (like Seth)! What a load of (language inappropriate for minors. Please show ID to unlock full sentence.)!

3: Series of Unfortunate Events
Sam: Please, please don't get me wrong. I love this movie. I love Jim Carrey's facial expressions in this movies. But I'd read the books first. These days I've trained  myself to think of them as two different story's. But if compared to one another....

Count Olaf. He was one of the scariest book villains I'd read at the time and I, frankly, was terrified by him. The movie turned him into the most likable character, the one with the funniest lines and best acting abilities. This is just not acceptable.

Justine: I don't really remember the movie, but from what I do remember, I have agree with the Hater. Count Olaf was not how I imagined him. Also, they left out a lot of what I was looking forward to seeing! We didn't see the Judge's library, for one. And I don't remember that being the ending! Stick to the books, please.

......And We're Back!

Okay, so you might have noticed that we've (Justine and I) haven't blogged in quite a while. Or maybe you haven't noticed. But it would be nice you did. Anyway, this is all Justine's fault, seeing as he left for San Fransisco, but we're back now and sorry for the delay! I hope you missed us. We promise regular posts from here onward.

A Few of the Worst Sequels of All Time

Ice Age 2: The Meltdown:  I had a meltdown during this film. Everybody loved the first Ice Age film. How did Pixar react to this? They shoved Ice Age and it's characters down viewers throats til Ice Age memories where a cache of pain and resentment. It is now impossible for me to use the words Ice Age and funny in one sentence (not including this one).

Spider Man 3: Peter Parker turns into a first class jerk, Kirsten Dunst attempts to sing opera and sand gets everywhere. God help us. On the bright side, spider-man nearly gets beaten to death near the end.

Shrek 2: It seems like there is a curse on all animated kids movies. The sequel is going to suck. Don't bother fighting it. Don't even try to have an open mind. It's the sad fate of all of these films. Shrek becomes a human. And Donkey turns into a horse. Joy!

Virtually every character in the second movie is annoying, particularly Pinocchio. And the cat. And the gingerbread man. And Prince Charming. And the king. The list goes on and on.

 After the first movie, they all got pretty bad. Shrek 3 hardly brought anything new. But the same annoying characters are there.

Death to the Prince!

Sam: As I was sitting in a freezing movie theater in a universe near you, my head was just whirling. It was making lists and correcting things and wondering if the film (Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time) could possibly get worse. I was gritting my teeth as the thoughts in my head almost boiled over. Yeah, I'm a hater.

Justin:

It was very obvious that the king's brother would want the throne. From the moment the narrator said that the king had a brother, I knew that he would want to remove his brother so he could rule. That kind of story is very overused. Though for a while, I did think that Dastan's brother had killed the king.

Also, I was annoyed by the princess' character. The way she acted was very---

Sam: Oh, God!  She is played by that same girl who simply refused to die in Clash of The Titians. I was like, 'Shut up, woman. You're not that pretty.' Also, what kind of name is 'Dastan'? I was flinching every time they said it. This movie follows the classic adventure plot: Young dude 'destined' to be a hero. Throw in some magic, a princess and a the constant Disney message. 'Just follow your heart'. 

Gosh, I love writing for this blog. It's like therapy.

Justin:

At least the Prince of Persia title is good in video game industry. The only good thing about this movie was the action. I actually enjoyed watching the prince run around the rooftops and killing bad guys. I also liked the knife-thrower guy. He was the movie's best character. Part of what made me like him was that he actually kept his mouth shut. 

Sam: So what this film really needed was a more refreshing and revieting script, better actors and maybe some new names. Otherwise, ze Prince of Perisa is 'destined' to be a box office flop.

Up Close and Personal with Ben Gates

Today we have with us a very important guess star. Benjamin Gates visited us straight from National Treasure.

Sam: Can you tell me what a day in your life is like?

Benjamin Gates: I'm the family kook. I have a job, a house, health insurance....

Sam: What was the most exciting thing you've ever done?

BG: We found an engraving on the stem of a two hundred year old pipe. Owned by the Free Masons.

Sam: What was the most dangerous thing you've ever done?

BG: Is there a door that doesn't lead to prison?

Sam: Do you spend much of your time in prison?

BG: Someone's got to go to prison.

Sam: True. What is your favorite passtime?

BG: Prison.

Sam: Why?

BG: Cause it's prison.

Sam: Thank you for talking with me today, Ben. It was a very...errr....educational experience.

BG: Listen, this is a waste of time.

Interview With a Pirate

Today we have a very special guest! We'll be interviewing Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean!

Jack: You look familiar, have I threatened you before?

Popcorn: Um... I don't think so. First question, Why are you so interested in the Black Pearl?

Jack: Stop blowing holes in my ship!

P: What was it like to fight ghost pirates?

Jack: . . . and then they made me their chief.

P: What brought you to Port Royal on the day of Norrington's promotion?

Jack: Funny ol' world, innit?

P: Yes it is. What was the funniest thing you've ever done?

Jack: A wedding. I love weddings! Drinks all around!

P: What are your thoughts on the upcoming Swan-Turner wedding?

Jack: Elizabeth . . . it never would have worked between us, darling. Will . . . nice hat.

P: What about you? Is there a special someone in your life?

Jack: Why is the rum always gone?

P: That reminds me, many people say you have a drinking problem. What would you like to say to them?

Jack: My eyesight's as good ever, just so you know.

P: Wha-

Jack: I want my jar of dirt.