Scott Pilgrim vs. the Critics: Another Battle

Justine: The first word that comes to mind when the name Scott Pilgrim is spoken: Awesome. It's a movie based on a video-game that's based on a comic. How could that formula be anything but awesome? Video-game themed, action-packed, and full of humor, it's definitely one of the best movies we've seen in a while. The Hater and I both agree on that. But, that's all we'll be agreeing on for majority of this post. We're gonna have another battle. Today's match: Todd Ingram vs. Matthew Patel, an Evil X showdown.

The Hater: Before I write anything else, I have to stop you (let the disagreeing begin). Are you forgetting about The Prince of Persia? Video game adaption. And we both hated on that one. Also, I'm going to put a picture here. Even though Justine (who thinks I put way too many pictures in my posts) will grit his teeth when he sees it.

Oh, yeah. 

Justine: Sure, this guy had vegan powers, but did he have hippie chicks? Was he S-L ick? Did he dress like a pirate? No! Patel was awesome!  He had that weird way of moving his head, the crazy hairstyle, the awesome entrance.

The Hater: No, he didn't have hippie chicks. But Todd Ingram's (ve-gone guy) scenes contained some of the funniest lines in the movie ( "I partake not in the meat, nor the breastmilk, nor the ovum, of any creature, with a face.")  And he a kind of slur to his voice, which is WAY better than a weirdly moving head. Way.


Justin: What about the dance and song? And the hand gestures? Just watch that scene again. It's awesome. I'm Mathew Patel (weird gesture)!

The Disaster of Turning a Book into a Movie

Sam: I admit it's gotta be tough. High expectations. Devoted fans with an image of EXACTLY what they want their favorite characters  to look like. Sometimes, movie adaptations are fantastic. But we all know that I'm better at hating then praising. So, here's a list of some of the worst book\movie adaptations.

1: Percy Jackson and The Olympians 


The book had it's witty commentary, with Percy's honest view of  his life and world in general. But the movie....

Justin: That about rounds off the good part. Now for the bad. First: Grover. He was the opposite of his character in the book. He made annoying sounds every five seconds, he acted like he knew everything, and he didn't help at all. He even showed the cleaning lady from the motel Medusa's head. A useless disappointment. The Grover in the book was a modest hero who helped Percy whenever he could.

2: Twilight 


Sam: First let me clarify: I am not a Twilight fan. The story is cool enough. But to me, the story really doesn't matter that much. But if you can sell me on your characters, then I'm yours. And the characters (a certain female lead, especially) almost offend me. However, even I can admit that the books were better than the movies.

Seriously guys, we don't need five minutes of you staring at each other while laying in the dewy grass, while playing piano in the back ground. Come. On.

Justin: I didn't read the book, but this movie SUCKED! It had a two minute action sequence, too much dumb romance crap, and half the characters ran around half-naked the whole time (like Seth)! What a load of (language inappropriate for minors. Please show ID to unlock full sentence.)!

3: Series of Unfortunate Events
Sam: Please, please don't get me wrong. I love this movie. I love Jim Carrey's facial expressions in this movies. But I'd read the books first. These days I've trained  myself to think of them as two different story's. But if compared to one another....

Count Olaf. He was one of the scariest book villains I'd read at the time and I, frankly, was terrified by him. The movie turned him into the most likable character, the one with the funniest lines and best acting abilities. This is just not acceptable.

Justine: I don't really remember the movie, but from what I do remember, I have agree with the Hater. Count Olaf was not how I imagined him. Also, they left out a lot of what I was looking forward to seeing! We didn't see the Judge's library, for one. And I don't remember that being the ending! Stick to the books, please.

......And We're Back!

Okay, so you might have noticed that we've (Justine and I) haven't blogged in quite a while. Or maybe you haven't noticed. But it would be nice you did. Anyway, this is all Justine's fault, seeing as he left for San Fransisco, but we're back now and sorry for the delay! I hope you missed us. We promise regular posts from here onward.

A Few of the Worst Sequels of All Time

Ice Age 2: The Meltdown:  I had a meltdown during this film. Everybody loved the first Ice Age film. How did Pixar react to this? They shoved Ice Age and it's characters down viewers throats til Ice Age memories where a cache of pain and resentment. It is now impossible for me to use the words Ice Age and funny in one sentence (not including this one).

Spider Man 3: Peter Parker turns into a first class jerk, Kirsten Dunst attempts to sing opera and sand gets everywhere. God help us. On the bright side, spider-man nearly gets beaten to death near the end.

Shrek 2: It seems like there is a curse on all animated kids movies. The sequel is going to suck. Don't bother fighting it. Don't even try to have an open mind. It's the sad fate of all of these films. Shrek becomes a human. And Donkey turns into a horse. Joy!

Virtually every character in the second movie is annoying, particularly Pinocchio. And the cat. And the gingerbread man. And Prince Charming. And the king. The list goes on and on.

 After the first movie, they all got pretty bad. Shrek 3 hardly brought anything new. But the same annoying characters are there.

Death to the Prince!

Sam: As I was sitting in a freezing movie theater in a universe near you, my head was just whirling. It was making lists and correcting things and wondering if the film (Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time) could possibly get worse. I was gritting my teeth as the thoughts in my head almost boiled over. Yeah, I'm a hater.

Justin:

It was very obvious that the king's brother would want the throne. From the moment the narrator said that the king had a brother, I knew that he would want to remove his brother so he could rule. That kind of story is very overused. Though for a while, I did think that Dastan's brother had killed the king.

Also, I was annoyed by the princess' character. The way she acted was very---

Sam: Oh, God!  She is played by that same girl who simply refused to die in Clash of The Titians. I was like, 'Shut up, woman. You're not that pretty.' Also, what kind of name is 'Dastan'? I was flinching every time they said it. This movie follows the classic adventure plot: Young dude 'destined' to be a hero. Throw in some magic, a princess and a the constant Disney message. 'Just follow your heart'. 

Gosh, I love writing for this blog. It's like therapy.

Justin:

At least the Prince of Persia title is good in video game industry. The only good thing about this movie was the action. I actually enjoyed watching the prince run around the rooftops and killing bad guys. I also liked the knife-thrower guy. He was the movie's best character. Part of what made me like him was that he actually kept his mouth shut. 

Sam: So what this film really needed was a more refreshing and revieting script, better actors and maybe some new names. Otherwise, ze Prince of Perisa is 'destined' to be a box office flop.

Up Close and Personal with Ben Gates

Today we have with us a very important guess star. Benjamin Gates visited us straight from National Treasure.

Sam: Can you tell me what a day in your life is like?

Benjamin Gates: I'm the family kook. I have a job, a house, health insurance....

Sam: What was the most exciting thing you've ever done?

BG: We found an engraving on the stem of a two hundred year old pipe. Owned by the Free Masons.

Sam: What was the most dangerous thing you've ever done?

BG: Is there a door that doesn't lead to prison?

Sam: Do you spend much of your time in prison?

BG: Someone's got to go to prison.

Sam: True. What is your favorite passtime?

BG: Prison.

Sam: Why?

BG: Cause it's prison.

Sam: Thank you for talking with me today, Ben. It was a very...errr....educational experience.

BG: Listen, this is a waste of time.

Interview With a Pirate

Today we have a very special guest! We'll be interviewing Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean!

Jack: You look familiar, have I threatened you before?

Popcorn: Um... I don't think so. First question, Why are you so interested in the Black Pearl?

Jack: Stop blowing holes in my ship!

P: What was it like to fight ghost pirates?

Jack: . . . and then they made me their chief.

P: What brought you to Port Royal on the day of Norrington's promotion?

Jack: Funny ol' world, innit?

P: Yes it is. What was the funniest thing you've ever done?

Jack: A wedding. I love weddings! Drinks all around!

P: What are your thoughts on the upcoming Swan-Turner wedding?

Jack: Elizabeth . . . it never would have worked between us, darling. Will . . . nice hat.

P: What about you? Is there a special someone in your life?

Jack: Why is the rum always gone?

P: That reminds me, many people say you have a drinking problem. What would you like to say to them?

Jack: My eyesight's as good ever, just so you know.

P: Wha-

Jack: I want my jar of dirt.

Movie Character Showdown

Sam: Justine and I will be experimenting with a new type of battle. A Movie Character Showdown. We will attempt to decide which movie character/ actor is stupider. (Note from Justin: Stupider is not a word.) I have nominated Batman/ Bruce Wayne. Let me get one thing straight. I have no problem with Batman. He is cool in a dorky awesome sort of way. I've mentioned that I've been watching old Batman movies. This past week I saw 'Batman Begins'. No, I have a problem with Christian Bale as Batman. My dad calls me a hater, I call myself a movie critic. But I'll get to that. Justine has nominated Grover, from 'The Lightening Thief'. So it's:

V.S

Let the battle begin. Justin(e): Grover is annoying! In the book he was supposed to be a loyal sidekick wanting to prove himself. In the movie he was . . . I can't pinpoint what was most annoying, but he was driving me crazy throughout the film. I hated when made those goat/sheep noises, and I'm probably not the only one.

Sam: Oh, yes. I could hear the whole theater squirming. But Bruce Wayne was WAY worse. I mean, come on! Dude. I was cracking up every time he put on his Batman costume and attempted to make his voice deeper than normal. And he was trying to be all serious and he sounded like he had a cold. You honestly can't get any stupider (your face is not a word) than that.

Justin: But what about when Grover showed Medusa's head to that dude when they were in the hotel? That was dumb. He was a careless idiot throughout the movie. He hardly helped during any of the action, and he was the only one completely drawn into the Lotus Hotel. He was useless.

Sam: Are you forgetting about the way Batman would hold his mouth? He had this really awkward way of sticking out his lips well he was talking. See below.

And can we talk about the fact that he couldn't actually close his mouth? I hate it when actors do that. Please. A fly might go in. Justin: Grover had annoying habits too. For one thing, he seemed a little . . . arrogant. And I will once again remind you of the goat/sheep noises.

Sam:
Oh. Uh. Yeah, you're right. You win.

Justin:
I do? I mean, yes! I win! Grover is way more annoying than Batman.

Sam and Justine Preview What is To Come

Queen of Awesome:
Movie previews. Funny, romantic, adventurous, lines that catch your attention...all theses elements plus awesome music is what really gets you to say, 'I'm going to see that one.' or 'Man, thats going good.'

Justine:
First impressions determine what you think of a movie. If the preview doesn't leave a mark, you won't want to see the movie. For example, the Kick-Ass trailer makes viewers lust for more, Eclipse where as the trailer makes viewers . . . cry.

Sam:
Or punch Bella Swan in the face after you tell Edward Cullen to clear his throat and get a life.

Justin:
Exactly. I couldn't even finish that trailer.

Sam:
An awesome trailer: Zombieland. We're still trying to convince our mothers to let us watch this one.

Justin:
The Zombieland trailer was the complete opposite of the Eclipse one.

Sam:
'Tis. Let's get serious for a second and talk about the Iron Man 2 trailer. OH, MY GOD I WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE SO BAD!

Justine:
I still think Kick-Ass is the best hero movie this year.

Sam:
I really wish you would stop rubbing it in my face that you got to see this one. Is it really necessary to play the trailer every five minutes and yell every time at the top of our lungs, 'Sam! Check this out!' Carma is going to bite you in the butt.

Justin:
You're just mad 'cause you didn't see it. Anyway, another good trailer is the Nightmare on Elm Street one.

Sam:
Ew. Not quite my style. I hate horror movies whose only preview is to be gory. Well, I think we've covered everything worth seeing today. Can't wait for these movies to come out!

Avatar: The Battle Is On

Tweedledum and Tweedledee

Agreed to have a battle;

For Tweedledum said Tweedledee

Had Spoiled his nice new rattle.

Just then flew down a monstrous crow,

As black as a tar-barrel;

Which frightened both the heroes so,

They quite forgot their quarrel.

Tweedledee and Tweedledum were sitting writing stories. Said Tweedledee, "Let's have a battle, for you hate Avatar, and I'm quite the opposite."

"I accept," said Tweedledum.

Began Tweedledee, "How could you not enjoy this film, it was sparkling with brilliance."

"Exceptionally dumb," replied Tweedledum.

After a brief but heated argument on who shall type this blog post, the Tweedles continued.

"How could you, I ask, love Avatar? What about it was worthy? And stop trying to make everything rhythm," cried Tweedledum. "And why do I have to be Tweedledum?"

Tweedledee replied, "I think it was good because they created a completely new alien race with it's own culture, speech and.........and....."

"And? If it was 'good' why can't you explain it in more than three words? "

"I'm trying to decide between the millions of appropriate ones," Tweedledee remarked. "And stop trying to grab my computer. You're manhandling it."

"Yeah, right. I'll tell you why I hated Avatar. Are we allowed to use bullet points?" Tweedledum questioned.

"Weapons are not allowed," replied the smarter of the two.

"Oh, really? Does my fist in your face count as a weapon?" Demanded the cleverer of the two (HA HA).

"It obviously isn't," Tweedledee replied. "A fist is a part of the body. What about Avatar do you hate?"

Dum didn't reply. They broke for popcorn........(half an hour later) AND we're back.

"I really hate it when you refer to me as 'Dum'. Moving on. Why do I hate Avatar? Where to begin? I'm going to use the bullet points. Because, I've always been a rebel.

• Plot--we've seen this story time and time again. Foreign creatures are studied by 'normal' people, discovers that creatures aren't so bad. Some sappy love in between.
• Characters---none of them are particularly memorable, funny or entertaining.
• Dialog--with generic lines like: 'You still remember what team you're playing for?' and 'I trusted you!' or 'All I ever wanted was a single thing worth fighting for.' Avatar brings nothing new."

Tweedledee then said, "I admit you speak truly. But those points can be excused when you see the uniqueness in the film. First: the alien race itself was completely original. Not too unrealistic but not too unoriginal. They created an entire language for them. They created that hair connector thing. They created an entirely new religion."

"Second," continued the smart one. "The action was rather great. Third: the concept of the Avatar itself was a stroke of brilliance. The ability to remotely control another being is indeed the best idea I've seen in a long while."

"If I were to speak honestly; I'd admit that I did love the idea of going into someone else's body. That's probably why Avatar was such a disappointment. It hit me so hard. I mean, you have a breathtaking idea, brimming with potential. But, critical movie reviewer that I am, I can't simply overlook these potholes. I can't see past them. Shame, though."

Tweedledee finished, "Then we agree that Avatar was not too bad, but not so great, for we both liked some, and we both disliked some."

"Agreed," said Tweedledum. And that decided the battle.

The End

Sam says:
Today Justine and I will be talking about one of the most important and memorable aspects of a film: The Ending. What makes a movie ending so worth while? Firstly it wraps up the film. The ending is part that you will walk out of the movie theater remembering. It must leave a---shall I say 'aftertaste'----in your mind. It is the icing on the cake. Occasionally, in my opinion, it is what makes a film a masterpiece. 

 Justin says:
Please, refrain from calling me Justine. 


Sam says:
Right now, you really sound like Alfred, loyal butler from Batman (I've been watching old Batmans all weekend). 

                                   Here Justine is pictured with Beetlejuice


Anywho, back movie endings. First a few elements that make for a great movie ending:

Shock-Honestly, there sometimes there is nothing better than an ending you 
didn't suspect. A supposedly dead character reappearing, finding out that it was the butler along---I LIVE for these endings!  


Death-I hate to say it, but sometimes, a excellent movie ending has to do with a beloved character dying. Tragically.


Blast 'em heads off- Action movies that end in explosions end well. We love movies that have perfectly choreographed action - straight to the end.


Alfred Says:
First on our list: The Book of Eli. Who would have guessed that the kick-ass, sword slicing, grenade flinging protector of the bible was blind? That's definitely a surprising ending. And the way his disability is discovered is also great. The bad guys manage to steal the book, only to discover it's been written in braille.


Another grade A ending is found in the Incredible Hulk (2008). Only a supreme comic book geek would expect to see Tony Stark make an appearance in this movie. In literally the absolute last minute of the film, Iron Man walks in and invites Bruce into the Avengers.




Watson says:
I really loved the Iron Man ending. We see Tony Stark mount the mike stand, prepared to feed the press some watery story as an excuse for the past events. We see a funny expression cross his face and then--BAM---"I am Iron Man." That's what I'm talking about. Simple, unexpected, very in your face. 

Another ending I worship, is of course, Interview With The Vampire (I'm starting to wonder if I can go through one post without mentioning this movie). 

Seriously, this movie ending is quite possibly the best I've witnessed. It really knows how to play with shocks. 

I mean, Lestat, a character that we're not sure is dead or alive appears at literally the last minute of the film. He takes over the car, fixes his shirt selves, bites the car passenger and blasts the radio. Then it goes straight to the end credits. That's it. Simple. Fabulous. Shocking. A masterpiece. 

That's all folks.

Movie Villains That Don't Suck (in color)

The following candidates have been elected through careful and precise thinking and argumentative debate. No bloggers were harmed in the process.

Alfred says:

The Red Queen

The Queen is, and always has been, one of my favorite antagonist. The most crooked out and extraordinary queen ever.



Eli

He survived the apocalypse. He fought off hordes of bloodthirsty brutes. He traveled halfway across the world. Anyone can do this you say? He did it blind.

The Joker

Who can't love this crazy hysteric? Universally known as the grinning psychopathic, bloodthirsty, arch nemesis of Batman, the Joker is probably the most ingenious villain ever imagined. Though the movies are about the hero, I always look forward to seeing the villain.

Watson says:

David

"You're eating maggots, Micheal. How do they taste?"

This guy is a vampire. Could you tell? He completely takes over the film he belongs to (The Lost Boys), intimidating and ruthless; he rules over the vampire scene.


Miranda Priestly

The most unnerving thing about this woman is undoubtedly the fact that she never fails to charm while she's harassing you. With lines like: "The details of your incompetence do not interest me." and "Find me that piece of paper I had in my hand yesterday morning." Miranda is unstoppable. But there's something in her manor that has you praising her every word.

The Critics Tackle Wonderland

Justin says:
I recently watched the new Alice in Wonderland movie. But not in 3D. They were sold out of tickets for all 3D showings. Regardless, the movie was still pretty good. While lacking the classic magical feeling universally related with the original, it did supply action and a little comedy. The writers took the two sides, Alice and the Red Queen, and did what any good action movie writer would: they started a war.

We somehow went from tea parties and talking doors to killing the Jabberwock and fighting card soldiers. Something other books and short-stories have tried, but this movie does it in one the two best ways (the other being the story of the Looking Glass Wars series). Rather than take Wonderland and change the story completely, Alice in Wonderland simply makes Alice grow up. This movie was meant to take place after Disney's classic, during a time when the Red Queen rules with a brutal iron grip. Alice is living on Earth, a normal British girl. After chasing a rabbit in a waistcoat and falling down a hole, she's in Wonderland. Similar to the original, but the changes that were made makes this movie no where near the brilliant masterpiece the original was.

Sam says:

I agree with you completely! There was something uncomfortably dry about this film, a missing element that had me wincing. On rare occasions, magic is caught on screen. This few films go forward into the realm of the classics. And I think I can safely say that this film will not reach that realm.

Although this movie had characters with plenty of potential, few of the reached what I expected of them. I was happy with Helena Bonham Carter, who tried her best to keep the film afloat.

Who can resist her? Or her fat boys?

However, I was quite disappointed with Johnny Depp. I mean, come on! You're great, Johnny, I worship you. But you let me down in this film. You're usually amazing when it comes to creating a fabulous mix of weird and just the right dosage of awesome. But playing the Mad Hatter? Your acting in this one felt......God, I hate to say it, but BLAND. You left out the awesome this time.

This is me, trying my best to impress you!

Ahhhhhhh!

Now for the White Queen. Anne Hathaway, thank you. Thank you for giving us a parody of so many other watery women characters we've seen (try Clash of the Titians, Twilight ect).You always brighten my day.

How did I feel about Alice her herself? Played my newcomer Mia Wasikowska, who tried her best to stray from the irritating, stuck-up, self obsessed Alice we're seen so many times before. She's succeeded! Mia displays all of Alice's more prized traits such as bravery, defiance and the like. Giving us girls a good role model! Yay, for Mia!

Alice and Wonderland offers us a half a handful of great characters, special effects and costume design. Unfortunately, half a handful is not enough to make a truly memorable film.

Underworld: A vampire movie?

This past week, to broaden my vampire movie experience I saw Underworld. Not quite sure what to expect but knowing that I was in for some vampire action, I buckled down for the ride.

For those of you not familiar with the film, allow me to give a synopsis:

In the Underworld, Vampires are a secret clan of modern aristocratic sophisticates whose mortal enemies are the Lycans (werewolves), a shrewd gang of street thugs who prowl the city's underbelly. No one knows the origin of their bitter blood feud, but the balance of power between them turns even bloodier when a beautiful young Vampire warrior and a newly-turned Lycan with a mysterious past fall in love. Kate Beckinsale and Scott Speedman star in this modern-day, action-packed tale of ruthless intrigue and forbidden passion all set against the dazzling backdrop of a timeless, Gothic metropolis.

Doesn't sound that bad, huh? Let's break it down.


First, the things that I loved:


It was really nice to see some female butt-kick going on, since of late I've been deprived of that:

Save me, Edward! I tripped over an air current and bashed my head. Again.

I loved the essence of Selene. I loved the gun wielding fang bearing tough take that was near effortless for her. And may I remind you that she did all this with a British accent?

Farther proof that, yes, you can kick butt with a British accent

I also loved the general tone of the film. The overhead moon, the lurking shadows and the dim lighting never fail to remind us that bloodshed is awaiting every corner. Nice. The setting and tone of a movie is almost as important as the music. And, of course, the stuff I wasn't so fond of: Easy on the guns, guys. This a vampire movie, remember? That entitles you occasionally showing off some of your vampire powers. Nada. Underworld completely denies us our vampire fights! Maybe I'll have better luck with the sequel (tell me you didn't see that one coming). There is also something missing here......it just didn't really seem like a vampire movie to me. My point: No vampire fights No blood sucking No explanation of myths (sunlight, garlic, ect.) What we're left with is a action movie starring gun wielding immortals who just happen to have sharp teeth. Overall, Underworld, is in fact worth watching. If only once.

Introduction to Popcorn

Popcorn is one of America's favorite snacks. You can find it at movie theaters, baseball fields, carnivals, circuses, Sam's house, and everywhere else. In America, popcorn is the most common snack for movie watching. In your living room, or at the local theater, most people will be eating popcorn.

Some people also eat popcorn while reading books, e.g. Sam and me. Some eat it while writing blog posts. That's exactly what I'm doing at this very moment.

Sam and I will be posting about the movies and books we watch and read while we eat our popcorn. We'll have reviews, inter-book/movie contests, and all sorts of other stuff. So now, a bag of popcorn in each hand, it's time to watch some movies, read some books, and eat the world's greatest snack.

Shoot. We ran out of popcorn. Again.

STOP! READ THIS FIRST!

Hey guys! I'm sure most of you know me from my blog, Sam The Writer Chick and you probably know Justin from his blog, as well. On this blog you'll find us yapping about much of the same things that we do on those blogs only we'll be writing about it together. And that is so much scarier. Because we'll be combining our supreme blogging abilities and we apologize if in the future we get a little out of control. We will attempt to contain our awesome.

On this blog we will post extremely critical movie and book reviews, character personality contest, searches for best authors and so on.

With that said, go! Run off now and explore our blog. Have fun. And remember the golden rule: Any Day Is A Better Day With Popcorn.